Yesterday
by khawarspirit
Summary: Edward looks back on his days with Alphonse. One-shot. Char death. Songfic. Elricest. R&R PLEASE.


Hey all. So I wrote my second FMA fic. Hopefully, it's better than the first. :p  
The song is Leona Lewis' Yesterday. (For those of you who haven't heard it, I really recommend that you do!)

**Disclaimer**: I _still _don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, or the Elric Brothers. I don't own the song either.

* * *

_  
I just can't believe you're gone,  
Still waitin' for mornin' to come,  
When I see if the sun will rise,  
In the way that you're by my side,  
When we had so much in store,  
Tell me what is it I'm reaching for,  
When were through building memories,  
I'll hold yesterday in my heart._

It was a cold night in Munich, mainly because it was raining heavily a few hours ago, which was atypical since downpours were rare during the winder months. No longer pouring, the rain outside had slowed down to a drizzle. The gale was still strong, however, and wind moaned outside as if someone was playing pipes. I never liked the rain, but today the weather reflected my mood perfectly.

I was sitting on a chair next to the window of the bedroom I formerly shared with Al. Looking out the window; I realized that I would be alone here now. Rivulets of water were streaming down the window glass, just like the tears running down my face. I tilted my head upwards to look at the gray sky overhead. It looked like it was going to rain again, but I couldn't care less. I had only had one thing on my mind; my brother, Alphonse.

My beloved brother...

What happened, Al? The night we made love for the first time, you told me that you wanted to spend your entire life with me. Why only this short period, then? I lost so much when I lost you. I lost my only remaining family, I lost my brother, I lost my friend, but most of all, I lost the person I was deeply in love with. It was just like the time I lost mom. What am I supposed to do now?

Just a few weeks ago you were here, Al…

Just a few weeks ago…

* * *

_  
I felt a pair of hands clasp at my shoulders and turn me around. Before I could react, warm lips were placed upon mine. Although I knew it was Alphonse, I was surprised. It wasn't everyday that he did something of this sort. It was oddly unique, tons more passionate than most of our kisses these days. It sent shivers through me, and made my toes tingle. He gently pulled at my lip, followed by a quick brush of his tongue against mine. _

_It was perfect…_

_He pulled back a few minutes later, and gazed into my eyes ardently. "Somebody's really affectionate today," I teased, smirking._

_He blushed slightly. "I'm going to the market to buy some groceries," he said, and gave me a peck on the lips, before turning to walk towards the door._

"_Kay," I said, still smiling._

"_Love you, sexy," he said, before walking out the door._

"_I love you, too," I called back._

_Wait… Did he just call me sexy?  
_

* * *

_  
I thought our days would last forever,  
But it wasn't our destiny,  
_'_Cause in my mind we had so much time,  
But I was so wrong,  
Oh, I can, I believe me,  
I can still find strength in the moments we made,  
I'm lookin' back on yesterday._

I got up from the chair and walked towards the nightstand. Resting upon it was a framed picture of Alphonse and me, with him grinning from ear to ear, our arms around each other and me kissing him on the cheek. He had argued that the photo was ostentatious, and shouldn't be placed as it was. I had pretended not to hear, so he had given up after a few attempts. More tears streamed down my already soaked cheeks as I recollected memories of my past with Al. I picked up the picture, walked back to the chair, and sat on it again. Clutching the photo to my chest, I questioned whatever deities above of why life was so drastically unfair to me.

I had been spending the better part of the day in my room since Al passed away, just gazing at photos of him and remembering all the times we spent together. Being without him now, I didn't see any point in living anymore. Truth be told, I had considered suicide. Dying seemed like a wonderful idea to end all the pain and blank out all the agonizing memories, but Al wouldn't have wanted me to kill myself so I had cast out that conception.

Death is inevitable, though. People are born in this world, they play the part that they are meant to, live for several decades, and then pass away. It has been the rule since the beginning and will remain unchanged. That may seem like a remarkably simple impression, but it is a most arduous concept to have a handle on when death befalls, just as I couldn't believe when it took Al away from me.

Al…

* * *

"_Hey Al, aren't you hungry?" I enquired, munching on a piece of the delicious chicken roast he had made. "You haven't eaten anything since morning."_

"_Nah, I don't feel like eating," he replied, looking down at his plate which contained untouched pieces of roasted chicken._

"_You haven't been eating much lately," I said, now losing my own appetite out of worry._

_He just shrugged in reply. "I don't know."_

"_I'm not going to drop it this time, Al," I said firmly. "You never talk about this. Are you feeling alright? You look a little pale too."_

"_Oh just some fatigue and fever," he replied, casually. "Must be the cold weather."_

"_If you're sure," I said, eying him carefully._

"_Uhh… Excuse me," he said after a few minutes, getting up._

_He walked over to the kitchen sink, and put his plate in it, then walked out of the kitchen. I observed that he was walking slower than usual, and noticed him clasp his left shoulder with his right hand, as if it were in pain, just as he walked out._

_I could hear him coughing in the living room…  
_

* * *

_  
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,  
They can take the music that we'll never play,  
All the broken dreams, take everything,  
Just take it away,  
But they can never have yesterday,_

I wonder what Al and I would be doing right now if he was still alive. Cuddling, maybe? I sometimes ponder about why I was not granted the mercy of death along with him. That way, perhaps, we would have a chance of being together. I worked so hard to get Al his body back. Both of us did. We studied restlessly for days on end, searching for ways to recover possession of what we lost, by means of Alchemy and the Philosopher's Stone, all of which seemed like a distant memory now. It was tremendously unjust that a disease took him away from me when we finally succeeded. An execrable disease. Although life hadn't been particularly benevolent to me in the past, this was inequitable to the highest degree.

I averted my gaze once again to the photo in my hand and smiled sadly. Not taking my eyes off it, I got up from the chair, and made my way back to the nightstand. Putting the photo back on top of it, I vaguely wondered how long it had been since I last ate. I wasn't such a good cook; Al had always cooked for the both of us. It wasn't important, though, because I didn't feel hungry in the least. I was slightly thirsty, though, so I started making my way to the kitchen.

Thoughts came flooding into my mind as I entered the kitchen. We had made so many memories in here, like the time he had made me a cake on my birthday, last year. I had kissed him for the first time that day. It was a simple peck on the lips, but it was the best way I could think of, to say thanks. Pouring water in a glass, I shook my head and tried to push the thoughts aside. Every room in the house reminded me of Al. Come to think of it, a whole lot of things in this house brought back numerous memories. Sitting with a slouch on one of the dining chairs, I drank the water slowly. Try as I might, I couldn't lose remembrance of the moments we had spent together. Not a thought went by, without reminding me of his last days…

* * *

_  
I was regarding Al's condition with inquisitiveness these days. He seemed to be growing paler by the day, and physical fatigue would overwhelm him after he so little as made lunch. I confronted him a number of times about this, but he either put the blame on the cold weather or ignored the question entirely. I firmly told him to go to the doctor one day. Even though he protested, I was persistent, so he halfheartedly agreed and went that evening. He came home looking very glum that day. I quizzed him about it, but he didn't answer a single question and even though worry was eating me up from the inside, I decided not to interrogate him._

_A few days later, Al fell down, and that's when I got gravely concerned. He was making his way from the bed to a nearby bookshelf, when he stumbled over seemingly nothing, and fell, as if his legs had stopped functioning. I observed the whole event from the doorway, and rushed to his side the moment he fell. I put an arm around him, and before I could inquire, he vomited on the floor._

"_Brother…" he whispered, wiping his mouth on his sleeve._

"_I'm here now, don't worry," I said, rubbing my hand on his back. "Come on, let's go."_

_Putting his arm behind my shoulder, I helped him up. I led him out of the room, down the stairs, and out the front door. By the time we were outside, Al had recovered a bit of his energy, and no longer needed my support. He took his arm off my shoulder and slowly trailed after me. I walked towards our car, a Crossley 19.6, and carefully settled him on the front passenger seat. I made my way around the car and flopped down on the driver's seat. Hastily starting the car, I began to drive to the hospital._

_It took us about ten minutes to reach there, and as soon as we did, I had Al admitted for tests. I was told to remain in the waiting room until the doctor came out of the examination room with the results, to which I had reluctantly agreed. Sitting in a chair, I examined the room around me. The walls were painted with white distemper, and pasty ceramic tiles covered the floor. Growing anxious by the second, I started pacing back and forth the room. Repetitively glancing at the examination room, I wished that the doctor would expedite with the tests._

_I strode over to the door the instant I saw it open. "How is he?" I asked vehemently, as soon as the doctor emerged from the room._

_The doctor was a middle-aged man, a little on the chubby side, with thinning brown hair, and thick glasses. He turned to look at me, his expression serious. "Follow me, Mr. Elric."_

_He started walking in the opposite direction and I fell in line behind him. He led me down a hallway, and after walking past numerous doors, he finally stopped at one. He opened the door, walked inside, and motioned me to do the same. I stepped inside and looked around. It was most likely his office; a plain room with the only decoration being two plant pots, positioned on each side of a desk, which was placed in the middle of the room. He seated himself on a chair behind the desk, and told me to take a seat. I lowered myself gingerly on one of the seats, and peered at the doctor._

"_So is he gonna be all right, doc?" I inquired, worriedly._

"_I'm afraid, Mr. Elric, he won't be all right," he replied solemnly. "Your brother has a disease called Acute Lymphoctytic Leukemia, also known as blood cancer." _

"_C-cancer?! But…H-how?"_

"_The cause is viral, according to the tests. It is, unfortunately, a high risk case, because the disease has made its way to his nervous system, so there isn't anything we can do at this point. I'd say he has a few more weeks at the most."_

"_D-does he know?"_

"_Oh, yes, he said that he has known for almost a week now."_

"_I see…"_

"_Please, Mr. Elric, some things are unavoidable."_

"…"

"_I'll prescribe some medications, but they won't do much," he said as he penned something on a piece of paper, tore it from the pad, and handed it to me. "That's all."  
_

* * *

_  
They can the future that we'll never know,  
They can take the places that we said we would go,  
All the broken dreams, take everything,  
Just take it away,  
But they can never have yesterday._

His last days were the hardest of my life. Seeing him in pain, and not being able to do anything about it, tore my heart into pieces. All I could do was watch helplessly as his condition grew worse by the day, and in a week he was completely bedridden. I tried my hardest to make his last days the best I could. I would read him bedtime stories and often sang him lullabies, even though I wasn't very good at it, told him jokes, and carried out his every wish, because watching him display any signs of joyfulness would bring a distinctive satisfaction to my heart. He would smile sadly and say that he would never leave me if he had the choice. Those words never failed to make me cry. Two weeks after that, Al passed away. He said goodbye to me during his last breaths and told me that he loved me.

Pulling my knees to my chest, I lowered my chin onto them. I wasn't crying now, but a few stray tears streamed downed my cheeks. I had a severe headache, and my whole body felt numb, but my physical condition was the last thing on my mind. The same question from before kept irking me: What am I supposed to do now?

Suddenly, it came to me. I could go visit Al's grave tomorrow. I hadn't been there in a few days, so putting a bouquet of fresh flowers on it seemed like a wonderful idea. The thought marginally improved my mood. An image of Al's grave flashed in my mind, and I recalled the words inscribed on the tombstone:

**Alphonse Elric**

**Gone But Not Forgotten**

**A brother, A friend, A lover**

I would go to visit Al's grave tomorrow…

But all I can do for now, is look back on _yesterday_…

* * *

End

* * *

So, whatcha think? Too angsty? :P

R&R please! Reviews will be much appreciated!


End file.
